Well. I just feel like expressing on how i feel about this topic i want to talk about. As a kid. I didn't really had a problem like this. I was able to talk to other kids to become friends with them and i try to play with them. Even as a younger teen i was able to atleast talk to new people. Now. I can't even get myself to do it anymore. Why ? Well. I guess my Self esteem has gotten kinda messed up from some of the crap that i dealt with. I think my Step mom was the one who kinda was the main reason why i am now like this. As a little girl. I wanted to have a mother so badly. I looked at a mother as a kind gentle and loving person who would be there for their daughters. When i heard my dad was going to get married. It was the most happiest day of my life. Everything seemed fine the first few months. Then all of a sudden. She then gets angry and tried to hit me with a hard plastic water bottle and then tries throwing stuff at me and forces me to move downstairs. She repeatly forces me to stay in the basement. I'm glad i am no longer living there. Now also. I sometimes get back stabbed by people who i sometimes thinks are my friends or get cheated on by a boyfriend when i do get one. Now. My best friend seems to been kinda pushing me a side at the times i kinda needed her the most. For example. When my dog died i really needed a friend. She first invited me for a sleep over and then phone's back saying she is cancelling it all cuz she was invited to a birthday party to someone who i might or might not known. I got upset and said for her to let me spend time with her. But, She just hangs up on me. She did invited me over for another sleep over and was able to go for that. But, Still. She seems to want to spend time with other people then with her best friend. Now. i don't even know if she even likes being my best friend anymore. I got told that people drift away from each other sometimes. But, She said she would always be my friend and be there for me. I guess even friendships don't even last. Robin Hood broke a promise about me seeing my bird at her new home by saying i can't see her again. Witch really made me no longer wanting to care anymore. But, I was still stress out about other stuff and i guess somehow a few days ago led me to a panic attack. Even after that they STILL won't allow me to take a vacation from the main reasons that caused my stress in the first place. If its a society that supports people then they should do a better job at finding me a therapist. Helping with my stress. And allowing me to take a break from the stress so i would not have another panic attack. But, I guess no matter where i go. I can never seem to find anyone to trust.